Thesis Journal

Feb 22 2005

Feb 8 2005 - Abstraction

Feb 7 2005 - Artist Statement

For me, shader writing takes on the same quality of process art, where a tool is elevated to art status by removing it from its functional context, and then mutating its functionality. Of course, there is the element of time, shader writing is labor intensive, as with weaving, knitting, plaiting, etc. There is this common element of repetition which links proceduralism with tactile crafts. Just like a craft, the shader need not be utilitarian. A pattern tells a story all on its own; revealing thought, growth, time, and culture.

The artistic validity of visual effects lies in the idea that abstract thoughts translate directly into visual elements. This powerful concept allows a work to be both a method and a product. Descriptions are much more than words, they are the form of the reality itself. I find visual effects a metaphor for the prophetic word, which not only symbolizes an alternative reality but is that reality itself - the prophetic is instrumental rather than symbolic.

Many of the greatest social commentaries have come from computer simulation. The interaction of organisms unbound by time allows us to see more clearly the reasons for our own behaviors. My social message comes from the desire to eliminate rankism, bringing about an appreciation for people based on their worth rather than on the opinions of those in power. There is always more to people than what is on the surface.

My work consists of dwellings. These dwellings come in the form of landscapes, forest, vessels, shells, and passages. These are meditative spaces, places of comfort which the viewer might enter at the end of the day. Revelatory in nature, the dwellings represent the epitome of the pattern becoming reality. They are tabernacles which blur the distinction between the physical and the spiritual.

Feb 7 2005

Feb 3 2005

Shell / Glory cloud form created using lsystems

Feb 3 2005

Jan 28 2005

Jan 25 2005

Procedural study - Houdini

January 13 2005

Projection concepts

January 12 2005

New Yearlings have arrived.

January 11 2005

Growth test using l-sytems for secondary branches. click here.

January 10 2005

More growth testing. Now, branches can be scaled according to their age. Click here to see growth movie

January 9 2005

Earth art experiments. Built structures from wosteria vines. Found lots of birds in the thickets, worked from the concept of a dwelling. Felt strong vibrations in feet and legs all day. Literally, the creation groaning to help reveal the children of light. Had dream that night of travelling from Rome to Montpellier to a garden. Discovered that the first botanical garden in Europe was founded in Montpellier. Tega Cay, South Carolina.

January 5 2005

Woven test. Some aliasing apparent in animation.

An attempt to create brain neurons using a houdini isosurface.

Animation test of growing branch

November 19 2004

cocoon animation presenting phlegm shader.

November 8 2004 Time to explore the work

In creating hyper-detailed shaders, the viewer must have time to fully appreciate the work. There must be time to meditate on the surface, viewing the surface at different distances. Many earth artists, such as Robert Morris, use time as a central theme of their work; they require that the viewer walk through the piece in order to experience the entire work.

"[the viewer] experiences an interaction between the percieving body and the world which fully admits that the terms of this interaction are temporal as well as spatial, that existence is process, that the art itself is a form of behavior" - Robert Morris.

I want to create this experience of time by creating minimalist animations where a simple camera pan is extended over five minutes, continually pulling away from the object. This would allow the viewer to experience the contrast of scale, viewing the work at macro levels.

November 8 2004 Woven Shader

Using custom slim nodes to create strands across the surface, similar to Magdelena Abakanowitz.

November 6 2004 More Visual Concepts

November 6 2004

Contextual Shader

November 5 2004 Visual Concepts

October 31 2004 Effortless

"One of the great difficulties and beauties of my work is that so much effort goes into the work, to eventually make something that is effortless" - Andy Goldsworthy

As Andy Goldsworthy used the camera to document his work, the computer documents mine. In a sene the work is primarily spiritual - the embodiment of process. Thus, the computer is removed from not being the work, nor is it even the tool, it is instead the container, the thing which captures the work. But I want my work to focus on the process - on the epiphanies residing within the art of being.

The myth follows a pattern. And this pattern follows all cultures because of the comonality of the human spirit. The patterns are a result of being distinctly human. Furthermore, the way we interact with nature is also distinctly human; unlike any other creature. There is a common myth between humans and nature, between people and materials, and this myth I wan to emphasize in my shader work. Again, the shader would merely be a way of recording the inner process.

When I look at a hill or a trunk or a branch, there has always been a desire to inside the hill or branch or trunk. There is fluid in the most solid things. Since childhood, I have dreamed of the fluids flowing through solids - through trees, through people, through buildings. A river is more than just water, it is a flow. Shader work could exemplify this flow, bring it to the surface.

The way we read a scultpure is primed by the way we approach it. Because my thesis imagery leans towards static forms, the cinematography will affect the motion the viewer experiences in the piece.

October 20 2004 Visual Concepts

No, you do not understand.

Oct 19 2004 The Answer

Because the prophetic personality concerns the empathy of humankind, it is important to understand the fundamental feeling of humans towards the spiritual. Humankind has wrestled with God as Job did, pleading "I dont understand." And the only answer ever given to either is "no, you do not understand." God answers the earthly questions with heavenly riddles. This attitude constitutes one of the purest prophetic outlooks. Denying the intellect, the answer provides comfort because it acknowledges the existence of some ultimate meaning. However, God purposely veils this meaning from us. God is indeed knowable, but it is not our good deeds or right attitudes that permit fellowship with Him. Rather, it is our fellowship with Him that changes us. In essence, He is the one knowing us. His Spirit searches His own depths and shares with us. So, prophetic art need not be understood. Rather, it is part of the great answer, and shouts in form and color "no, you do not understand!"

Octrober 19 2004 Abstraction

In a sense, procedural art takes on the process of designing a method. Rather than design the final image, the process to create that design is created. Thus, the design itself is designed. There are certain aesthetic choices which artists make over and over. Proccess artists exploit this by reusing unique techniques. The same thing can be applied to computer science and computer art where often used elements can be abstracted into templates. This idea of abstraction leads to the idea of a computer as a memory machine. Often, computers are thought of as problem solving machines, however, like the human brain, they function by simply remembering a process of steps. Artificial intellegence has largely missed the mark by trying to make computers into problem solvers rather than memory machines. Our bodies operate by remembering movements, not by recalculating them each time. The greatest abstraction comes when we teach the computer to remember our creative processes. Then, the computer becomes an extension of our own mind. The abstraction of art comes when the process is remembered and so the creator can focus on the infinite variations within a single idea.

October 19 2004 Empathy

Abakanowitz's social protest pieces differ from western ideologies by focusing on empathy rather than divergence. Rather than bending viewers to a certain doctrine she tries to embody the concerns of those around her. This idea of being a container to hold rather than a force that disturbs could be very powerful for prophetic art. There is the tendency in anyone with powerful ideas to will viewers using heavy-handed techniques. Here, the primary modes of transmission is culturally and religiously loaded symbolism. A more truthful message lies in being a doorway, where the primary mode of transmission is the universal human condition. God desires to communicate with each individual. He desires to draw people to Christ, not to out own ideals or doctrines. Empathy forms the basis for the prophetic ministry, being able to feel what God feels in response to the feelings and dispositions of those around us. The Old Testament prophets were empathetic first, offering consolation and encouragement before judgement was passed.

Above all else, I feel that empathy is grounded in simplicity; in getting past the theories and allowing ourselves to listen to our hearts. The prophetic artist may accumulate ideas, but ultimately a change of heart is required. The heart's simplicity can only be seen when we exist in the now, in the kairos, in the time between times. Adopting an eternal perspective allows us to free ourselves from personal ambition and see the simplicity of human relations. Complication breeds confusion and confusion acts primarily to destroy human interrelations. The prophetic artist concerns themself with the restoration of all things, of seeing the simplicity of reality where everything is founded upon Christ.

October 7 2004 - Outside

How could a virtual environment interact with an outdoor setting? Outside there is spacious expanse, sound, random movement - nature is uncontrolled. Unlike a lab environment, an outdoor setting provides its own ambiance; viewers are already immersed and experiencing a sense of precense. This sense of precense is what a VE would gain most from. There is a level of detail unobtainable within a lab environment.

The major disadvantage obviously is the frigility of equipment and the necessary impermenance of the installation. Assembling enough processor power for real-time simulations would hinder the rapid assemblage of environments. However, newer military applications have proven that VEs are viable outdoors.

Expressing Visions

Simply because the vision is in part or cannot be articulated, does not mean that it is not valid. There is a necessary period of gestation to completely recieve the vision. Always, the temptation to complete the missing parts on our own thraughts the progress of creativity. True creative power comes from without and is distilled within; the vessel is filled with water and the water turns to wine. The best wine may take years to be complete. The truest vision may take a lifetime to see.

October 5 2004 - Theme Review

- Specialization has led to a culture which is spiritually asleep.
- Our inability to communicate non-specialized ideas has caused us to forget the essential qualitiy of life, that truth often lies in paradox.
- God is both kind and severe.
- Humans are both mundane and divine.
- Restoration comes with the revelation of the dignity inherent in duality.
- Though we are mundane, our destinies lie in being a dwelling of God.
- Rites of passage can help. We must be separated, remade, and then reintegrated.
- Prophetic art then stands not just as symbol, but as an act reshaping reality.

October 4 2004 - Simplicity

"It is a fact that men lose variety by complexity" - G.K. Chesterton

Simplicity will be central to my thesis. One thing which computer art grossly lacks is simplicity. Again, specialization prevents us from being truly creative. The paradox genuis reveals itself in the simplicity of good solutions. Not that minimalism should be adopted by new media, but rather that the artist's heart must be set on a single fact, a single destiny. This focus does not limit the artist either; true creativity lies in seeing the infinite variations dormant within a single theme. It is left to the soul of the artist to awaken the songs hidden within simple existence.

October 2 2004 - Weaving a garment

"It would seem a true function of the imagination to weave a garment for God"
- Evelyn Underhill

The great mystery and triumph of God is that He has come to live within His people. It is not enough that we walk with God, or along with Christ, but that He lives in us. Our hearts form the womb space for the Spirit which grows inside of us. Much of my art includes these dark places of formation where the light intrudes upon darkness. An important concept here is that the Spirit first moved upon chaos. When their is chaos there is always an opportunity to grow.

The Angel of the Lord wrestled David, and we too must wrestle with God. Not that we are strong enough to overcome Him, but they we are fortunate to enjoy His mirth. He stretches us, pulls us, tries different shades of us, until we are to His liking, and He is able to wear us proudly.

When we worship, and when we live out our worship, the color and the glory of Christ becomes more and more visible. Each song paint a picture; each hymn constructs a holy habitation for our God. Jesus, more than anything else, desires friends, desires communication, and desires to live inside houses made of humans. He uses the pattern to weave garments, to treasure and to wear.

September 30 2004 - The Physical and the Natural

"The physical can be the actual means of communicating the spiritual... The Hebrew definition of sacrament is a physical event with a spiritual effect" - David Pawson

"What will then be possible when eternity breaks into time and divine strength and holiness holds unrestricted sway, setting the spirit free in its absolute purity and power." - Romano Guardini

"Man, incited by God, dimly or sharply concious of the obscure pressure of God, responds to Him best not by a simple movement of mind; but by a rich and complex action, in which his whole nature is concerned, and which has at its full development the characters of a work of art." - Evelyn Underhill

Occidental thinking is the separation of the physical and the spiritual worlds. Rites are viewed as symbols of the spiritual reality. However, to the prophetic mind, acts are the reality, manifest the reality, and create the reality. Prophetic art is instrumental rather than symbolic; the sign accomplishes what it signifies. Because revelation speaks to the heart, it needs not be comprehensible. The Anointing of the Spirit provides the interpretation. The revelation lifts us to holiness, to spiritual sight, we do not lift ourselves. Our only part is obedience, the Spirit provides the strength and ability for the attainment.

May 13 2004

Rites of Passage (Zahniser chap 7)

A rite of passage enables initiates to make a transition from one clearly defined position in society to another. A rite of passage consists of three parts: seperation, liminality, and reintegration.

Seperation - the orchestration of symbols in activities removing initiates from their state in society.

Liminality - from the Latin for "threshold," initiates a chaotic limbo condition of transition, or state in between. Involves physical or mental weakening causing initiates to forget the former state of their lives.

Reintegration - Ritually reincorporates initiates back into their community but with a new social role.

*** Liminality is the most important phase of the process because of the creativity released - new things are possible because little is taken for granted because unprecedented combinations of familiar elements can take place. There is also the sense of communitas. Linked to community, communitas is the feeling of rich fellowship, sharing the dwelling where other people live. These feelings allow for the bonding of meaning , where the initiate is able to almost instantly take on a new world view or internal attitude. The process of further reflection allows the initiate to bond the spiritual meanings with reality, allowing them to walk in a spiritual reality. Reflection creates a cognitive dissonance which leads the initiate to a general reorientation of their self-understanding.

Thus, a pattern of transformation arises:

liminality => communitas => bonding of meaning => reflection => dissonance => reorientation

Polarity of Symbols

Edward Sapir defines the functioning of symbols as balancing two opposing needs within the human heart. On the one side, there is orectic desire, which is driven by appetite. On the other pole is iodeological needs. Symbolism helps us to balance the two oppossing desire within a meaningful existence. Polarity involves a dynamic relationship between the two poles which helps unite faith with life; symbols connect how reality ought to be viewed with practical and vital life processes.

Thus, we have three important qualities of symbols which give symbols transformative power:

Condensation - many objects, actions, feelings and concepts can be concentrated in a single symbol.

Unification - A symbol relates and unifies a set of things often very different.

Polarity - Symbols help combine our ideology with practical life issues.

May 10 2004 Outline Revision

Introduction

The Culture of Stagnation

The Narcisism of New Media

The Proliferation of Esoterica

Patterns of Entitlement

Rankism and New Media Power Structures

Disdain for Creativity

Preference for Entertainment over Fantasy and History

Preference of Comfort over Growth

Loss of Cultural Narrative

Cultures of Fear

Inadequate Exposure

Inadequate Language

The Suicide of Expression

Radical Symbology and the Awakening of Cultures

The Centrality of Symbology

Conceptions of Reality

Ethos

Community

Criteria for Symbols

Connecting the High and Low

Encapsulation

Unification

Universal Images and Cultural Formation

Restoration of Cultural Narratives

The Reunion of Generations

Reinforcement of the Supernatural

A Balance Between Individuality and Community

Voices of Compassion

Rituals of Compassion

Demonstration vs. Indoctrination

Hollistic Instruction

Restorative Symbols

Dwellings of the Supernatural

Dwellings of Law (Moses)

Dwellings of Spirit (David)

Dwellings of Royalty (Solomon)

Dwellings of Nature (Ezekiel's Forest)

The Forest as a Radical Symbol of New Media

Duality

Innocence and Experience

Nurturing and Destroying

Essential Human Nature

Somebodies and Nobodies

Rewards of Humility

True Royalty

Childlikeness

Amazement

Spontanaeity

Belief

Repitition

Patterns

The Copy vs. The Pattern

Creating According to the Vision

Initiation and Reception

Communities

Dwellings

Conclusion

The Purposes of New Media

Moving Towards Compassion

____________________________________________________

I. Introduction

II. The Culture of Stagnation

A. The Narcisism of New Media

1. The Proliferation of Esoterica

2. Patterns of Entitlement

3. Rankism and New Media Power Structures

B. Disdain for Creativity

1. Preferernce for Entertainment over Fantasty and History

2. Preferince of Comfort over Growth

3. Loss of Cultural Narrative

4. Loss of Identity Leading to Loss of Expression

C. The Culture of Fear

1. Inadequate Exposure

2. Inadequate Language

3. Overreactions in Expressions

III. Radical Symbologies and Cultural Awakening

A. The Need for Symbols

1. Connection in Ethos

2. The Forgotten Middle Spirituality

3.

B. Restoration through Narrative

C. The Need for Child-likeness

D. True Royalty

IV. Computer Art as a Radical, Creative Symbol

V. The Parable of the Forest

May 5 2004 Introduction Draft 5

"The dignity of the artist lies in his duty of keeping awake the sense of wonder in the world. In this long vigil he often has to vary his methods of stimulation; but in this long vigil he is also himself striving against a continual tendency to sleep." - G.K. Chesterton

"That popular fable of the sot who was picked up dead-drunk in the street, carried to the duke's house, washed and dressed and laid in the duke's bed, and, on his waking, treated with all obsequious ceremony like the duke, and assured that he had been insane, owes its popularity to the fact that it symbolizes so well the state of man, who is in the world a sort of sot, but now and then wakes up, excersises his reason and finds himself a true prince." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Waking from self-absorbtion, new media finds itself on the verge of rediscovery. We have grown into our tools and techniques, until the point that they feel tight, almost suffocating. The stuffy opinions of many self-anointed media critics are such for one simple reason, we have so consumed ourselves with finding our voice that we have forgotten what we wanted to say. Fortunately, the solution to forgetfulness is simply remembering.

And remembering begins with this point: the craftsmen loves his craft because his heart is in it. When the heart is not engaged, new media quickly degenerates to either thin computer science or a quick and dirty design excersise. New media has become more of a test than an art, a chance to one-up the lesser intellects in a global race, in practice and in effect rather like the Cold War. Identity is tied to information rather than weapons, but all sides feel intimidated at sharing their power. And this brings me to the second fact in need of remembrance, that craft creates community. From the beadwork of Ketchawa tribes to the films which unite generations, the creations of a people brings a collective expression to their experiences. Historians often judge the merit of a work in its ability to encapsulate the broad experience of a time period. Self-absorbed and territorial attitudes rarely make marks on history without the use of force. Rather the self-sacrificing, the dignitarian, and the genuine leave treasures whose message time and experience merely amplify. Thus, we come upon the third distant thought that few, if any, have taken the time to remember: craft is transformative. Art is centrifugal, taking the divine inspiration within an individual and forcefully hurling it out into culture to form and transform, to connect life and to birth life.

These things constitute the puposes of new media: heart, community and transformation. The last one, because it is farthest from us currently, will be the one which I will attempt to explore. If new media specialists will awaken from the self-loving information culture, then new media will become an art form of transformative power. Transformation entails a shifting of value, pointing to the duality inherent in our human experience. Remembering the paradoxes of the creative process will restore true creativity to computer art.

For me, remembrance has taken the form of a single central symbol within my work which has grown to encapsulate a broader message relevant to our times. The forest represents transformation, duality, and child-likeness. The forest stands as a symbol engrained in Western hearts, a radical yet familiar image carrying centuries of signifigance. Reconnecting with the fable of the forest represents the continuing validity of our cultural narratives. Our society has begun to discard many things which were harmful to us, our racism, our empiralism etc. We have discarded things which were childish. But at the same time, we have forgotten what makes us most mature, and that is our paradoxical nature. The problem with the information culture is the preference of accumulation rather than gestation. Art is a two way process, recquiring both expression and listening. Acknowledging the duality of the human experience allows us to be knowledgable yet teachable, renowned yet obscure, content yet longing, and mature yet ever growing younger. The goal makes itself clear, to grow spontanesously, to stand firmly rooted, to understand ancient arcane knowledge, to stand within a community, to dwell in the forest.

May 5 2004 Introduction Draft 4

And remembering begins with this point: the craftsmen loves his craft because his heart is in it. When the heart is not engaged, new media quickly degenerates to either thin computer science or a quick and dirty design excersise. New media has become more of a test than an art, a chance to one-up the lesser intellects in a global race, in practice and in effect rather like the Cold War. Identity now though is tied to information rather than weapons, but all sides feel intimidated at sharing their power. And this brings me to the second fact in need of remembrance, that craft creates community. From the beadwork of Catchawa tribes to the films which unite generations, the creations of a people brings a collective expression to their experiences. Historians often judge the merit of a work in its ability to encapsulate the broad experience of a time-period. Self-absorbed and territorial attitudes rarely make marks on history without the use of force. Rather the self-sacrificing, the dignitarian, and the genuine leave treasures whose message time and experience merely amplify. Thus, we come upon the third distant thought that few, if any, have taken the time to remember: craft is transformative. Art is centrifugal, taking the divine inspiration within an individual and hurling it out into the void to form and transform, to bring life and to birth life.

For me, remembrance has taken the form of a single central symbol within my work which has grown to encapsulate a broader message relevant to our times. The forest represents transformation, duality, and child-likeness. Our society has begun to discard many things which were harmful to us, our racism, our empiralism etc. We have discarded things which were childish. But at the same time, we have forgotten what makes us most mature, and that is our paradoxical nature. The problem with the information culture is the preference of accumulation rather than gestation. Art is a two way process, recquiring both expression and listening. Acknowledging the duality of the human experience allows us to be knowledgable yet teachable, renowned yet obscure, content yet longing, and mature yet ever growing younger. The goal makes itself clear, to grow spontanesously, to stand firmly rooted, to understand the ancient, to stand within a community, to dwell in the forest.

May 5 2004 Introduction Draft 3

Stick to these points: Positive, possibilities, value of medium, and duality duality duality

And remembering begins with this point: the craftsmen loves his craft because his heart is in it. When the heart is not engaged, new media quickly degenerates to either thin computer science or a quick and dirty design excersise. New media has become more of a test than an art, a chance to one-up the lesser intellects in a global race, in practice and in effect rather like the Cold War. Identity now though is tied to information rather than weapons, but all sides feel intimidated at sharing their power. And this brings me to the second fact in need of remembrance, that craft creates community. From the beadwork of Catchawa tribes to the films which unite generations, the creations of a people brings a collective expression to their experiences. Historians often judge the merit of a work in its ability to encapsulate the broad experience of a time-period. Self-absorbed and territorial attitudes rarely make marks on history without the use of force. Rather the self-sacrificing, the dignitarian, and the genuine leave treasures whose message time and experience merely amplify. Thus, we come upon the third distant thought that few, if any, have taken the time to remember: craft is transformative.

For me, remembrance has taken the form of a single central symbol within my work which has grown to encapsulate a broader message relevant to our times. The forest represents transformation, duality, and child-likeness. Our society has begun to discard many things which were harmful to us, our racism, our empiralism etc. We have discarded things which were childish. But at the same time, we have forgotten what makes us most mature, and that is our paradoxical nature. Acknowledging the duality of the human experience allows us to be knowledgable yet teachable, renowned yet obscure, content yet longing, and mature yet ever growing younger. The goal makes itself clear, to grow spontanesously, to stand firmly rooted, to understand the ancient, to stand within a community, to dwell in the forest.

May 4 2004 Introduction Draft 2

The poverty of heart experienced in our information age could be explained three ways. Each explanation views the situation slightly differently, assessing a different problem and thus dictating a different solution. First, our information age might be inherently immoral. Technology itself contains the tendency to reduce life to mere simulation, removing all possibility for genuine experience. The solution to this problem would then be the removal of technology, a purging of those devices which have lead to our degenerate state. Obviously, this route is undesirable, if not impossible, and would simply put us back to a point of development leading up to our current society. Another view of the problem is that those in power over new media are themselves degenerate. They are simply power hungry individuals bent on absorbing as many resources as possible into their empires. The solution to this problem would be to restrict those in power. This also is unlikely because, in our consumer-driven culture, those in power win it through effective advertising playing to the wants and desires of society. The situation would arise again unless we are willing to give up our freedom to consume. Lastly, we could say that the problem is an inner one, which each individual must overcome. The problem is simply that we have forgotten. The solution then would be to simply remember.

Forgetfulness leads not only to a loss of fact, but also a loss of faculty. As we forget sounds of the past, we forget how to listen to the music around us. As we forget previous visions, we lose the ability to see clearly now. With a loss of words comes a loss of voice. Much of new media lacks the ability to speak because those creating it have forgotten how to listen. It is not that a creative artist needs vast intellect or divine inspiration, but the simple process of listening is what is required. And the thing which so easily passes by our supposedly well-educated minds are the contradictions inherent in our existence. We wish so deeply to make ourselves into infallibe technical masters, possessing all information, traversing all human experience from our armchairs, that we have forgotten the paradoxes which imbue us with power. We have forgotten how to know others, how to know ourselves. All we know is a cold, mechanical, mediocre, intertwined web of psuedo-fact. Identity has become linked to knowledge; thus society spirals downward as people pretend to share knowledge but at the same time are afraid of sharing because it entails a loss of identity. Everyone desires to be a someone, never realzing the humble power of being a nobody, of being able to listen.

Remembrance for me has taken the form of the creative process of visual art. Within my work, there has been a single central symbol which has grown to encapsulate a broader message relevant to our times. Our society has begun to discard many things which were harmful to us, our racism, our empiralism etc. We have discarded things which were childish. But at the same time, we have forgotten what makes us most mature, and that is our paradoxical nature. The duality of the human experience

May 2 2004 Introduction Draft

Two question then arise, what have we forgotten and how do we remember?

April 29 2004 Abstract Revision

Abstract:

The self-loving culture surrounding new media technology inhibits creativity through patterns of entitlement and elitist attitudes. New media specialists become gatekeepers of information, using rankism to maintain power. The accumulation of information has eclipsed true knowledge and communal openness. The problem manifests itself in the culture of fear and the loss of cultural narratives.

The restoration of genuine expression in media could come from hollistic attitudes that view new media as a system for personal development and cultural exploration. A radical symbolism will express these attitudes, opposing the culture of stagnation. Such symbology is not mere protest, but possesses a transformative power in its own right; a prophetic tool for forming subconcious patterns.

By exploring the patterns within the symbology of ancient prophetic movements, and comparing their practices and thoughts with romantic writers, all of whom spoke to similar cultures of stagnation, I have adopted the forest as a radical symbol against trends in mass media. The forest stands for duality, princely virtue, transformation, arcane knowledge, and child-likeness. In essence, the forest is a symbol used when vision is intended to be realized, to invade reality. This is culturally relevant because of the shift from an attitude of searching to one of formation.

April 28 2004 Abstract Revision and Intro Draft

Topic:

The Forest: A Radical Symbology for the Awakening of New Media.

Abstract:

The restoration of meaningful media could come from hollistic attitudes that view new media as a system for personal development and exploration. A radical symbolism will express these attitudes, opposing the culture of stagnation. Such symbology is not mere protest, but possesses a transformative power in its own right; a prophetic tool for forming subconscious patterns.

By exploring the patterns within the symbology of ancient prophetic movements, and comparing their practices and thoughts with romantic writers, all of whom faced similar cultures of stagnation, I have adopted the forest as a radical symbol against trends in mass media. The forest stands for duality, princely virtue, transformation, arcane knowledge, and child-likeness. In essence, the forest is a symbol used when vision is intended to be realized, to invade reality. This is culturally relevant because of the shift from an attitude of searching to one of formation.

(note: make abstract more accessible, still more simple)

Introduction:

April 28 2004 Symbolism and Grief

Symbolism:

A large part of my thesis will be creating a symbology to incite an awakening in the viewer. Symbols are lacking in western culture because they remind us of our duality, or our pain, suffering, death, and mundaneness. However, the lack of duality eliminates the possibilities of both negatives and positives. Restoring a symbology provides a means for the realization of duality. The forest is appropriate because it is something which almost all Americans view as a connection of the past; the forest is a deeply engrained symbol of freedom and natural patterns. The forest may be a symbol which rejoins the spiritual and the physical in western life. The forest represents a holistic approach to mass media, not only involving all forms of expression (which current media does), but also all forms of being, including our emotional, ancestral, spiritual, and arcane selves.

Eastern-traditions:

High religion based on Cosmic Beings or Forces

Folk or Low Religion, Magic and Astrology

Folk Social and Natural Science

Western-traditions:

Religion

(spiritual)

Excluded Middle

Science

(physical and secular)

"A symbol system is any object, event, quality, relation, that serves a vehicle for a concept" (Zanhiser 60).

"Religion is a system of symbols which acts to establish powerful, pervasive, and long-lasting moods and motivations in men by formulating conceptions of a general order of existence and clothing these conceptions with such an aura of factuality that the mods and motivations seem uniquely realistic" Cliffor Geertz, "Religion as a Cultural System."

"Religion persistently tunes a people's ethos, or way of life, so that it runs in harmony with their world view, or picture of the way the world really is" (Zahniser 61).

"Those symbols that will release experience and let it be redemptive bring to expression precisely those dimensions of reality that the king fears and cannot subjugate. It is the penchant of the king to nullify all symbols that reveal what is beyond royal administration. And so the power of the king to destroy symbols by reducing them makes necessary the subsequent denial of the experience symbolized" (Bruegmann 44).

"The task of prophetic imagination is to... offer symbols that are adequate to confront the horror and massiveness of the experience that evokes numbness and requires denial... to bring public expression to those very fears and terrors that have been denied so long and suppressed so deeply that we do not know they are there... to speak metaphorically but concretely about the real deathliness that hovers over us and gnaws within us, and to speak neither in rage nor with cheap grace, but with the candor born of anguish and passion" (Bruegmann 45).

"The offering of symbols that are adequate to contradict a situation of hopelessness in which newness is unthinkable. Of course, this cannot be done by inventing new symbols, for that is a wishful thing. Rather it means to move back into the deepest memories of this community and activate those very symbols that have always been the basis for contradicting the regnant conciousness" (Bruegmann 64).

Death:

"The task of prophetic ministry is to nurture, nourish, and evoke a consciousness and perception alternative to the consciousness and perception of the dominant culture around us" Walter Bruegmann, The Prophetic Imagination p 3.

"It is the vocation of the prophet to keep alive the ministry of imagination, to keep on conjuring and proposing futures alternative to the single one the king wants to urge as the only thinkable one. Indeed poetic imagination is the last way left in which to challenge and conflict the dominant reality... in our achieved satiation we have neither the wits nor the energy nor the courage to think freely about imagined alternative futures... the royal conciousness leads people to numbness, especially to numbness about death. It is the task of the prophetic ministry and imagination to bring people to engage their experiences of suffering to death." Walter Bruegmann, The Prophetic Imagination, p. 40-41.

April 27 2004 Emmerson Quotes

Abstract Revision:

The self-loving culture of new media esoterica inhibits creativity through patterns of entitlement and elitist attitudes. The romantic tendencies of computer specialists combined with feelings of underappreciation often produce a need for constant recognition leading to pretension, perfectionism, and isolationism.

Opposing this tendency is a desire for genuine expression, community, and transformation. In stagnant cultures, there are those individuals who seek to restore true creativity through the use of radical symbolism. Such radical symbolism is different than social protest, possessing a constructive power of its own which speaks on subconcious levels. My thesis explores past prophetic personalities, the methods they employed, and the results of their exploits.

By exploring the symbology of ancient prophetic movements, and comparing their practices and thoughts with romantic writers, all of whom faced similar cultures of stagnation, I have adopted the forest as a radical symbol against trends in mass media. The forest stands for duality, princely virtue, transformation, dwelling, arcane knowledge, and child-likeness. In essence, the forest is a symbol used when vision is intended to be realized, to invade reality. This is culturally relevant because of the shift from an attitude of searching to one of formation.

"Whenever a mind is simple and recieves divine wisdom, old things pass away, - means, teachers, texts, temples fall; it lives now, and absorbs past and future into the present hour... when a man lives with God, his voice shall be as sweet as the murmur of the brook and the rustle of the corn... everywhere I am hindered of meeting God in my brother, because he has shut his own temple doors and recites fables merely of his brother's, or his brother's brother's God." -Emerson, Self-reliance p. 159.

"it is obviously the point of the story like the point of a sword... In such a romance there would be no contradiction between the poet gathering flowers in the sun and enduring a freezing vigil in the snow, between his praising all earthly and bodily beauty and then refusing to eat, between his glorifying gold and purple and perversely going in rags, between his showing pathetically a hunger for a happy life and a thirst for a heroic death." - GK Chesterton , St. Francis, p 7.

"He was a lover of God and he was really and truly a lover of men; possibly a much rarer mystical vocation" GK Chesterton St. Francis, p. 7.

April 26 2004 Abstract and Topic Revisions

Topic:

The Forest: An exploration of prophetic symbology

Abstract:

Opposing this tendency is a desire for genuine expression, community, and transformation. In every culture, there are those individuals who seek to restore true creativity through the use of radical symbolism. Such radical symbolism is more than protest, possessing a constructive power of its own. My thesis explores past prophetic personalities, the methods they employed, and the results of their exploits.

By exploring the symbology and ritual art of Isaiah, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah, and comparing their practices and thoughts with romantic writers, all of whom faced similar cultures of stagnation, I have adopted the forest as a radical symbol against trends in mass media. The forest stands for duality, princely virtue, transformation, dwelling, arcane knowledge, and child-likeness. In essence, the forest is a symbol used when vision is intended to be realized, to invade reality. This is culturally relevant because of the shift from an attitude of searching to one of formation.

April 22

2004 Biblical References

"Until the Spirit is poured down upon us from on high, and the wilderness becomes a fertile field and the fertile field becomes a forest" Isaiah 32:15.

"And I will make a covenant of peace with them and eliminate harmful beasts from the land so that they may dwell securely in the land and sleep in the woods" Ezekiel 34:25.

"Now if He were on earth, He would not be a priest at all, since there are those who offer the gifts according to the Law; who serve a copy and shadow of heavenly things, just as Moses was warned by God when he was about to erect the tabernacle, "See that you make all things according to the pattern which was shown to you on the mountains." Hebrews 8:4-5.

"For you have been born again not of seed which is perishable but imperishable, that is, through the living and enduring Word of God" 1 Pet 1:23.

April 22 2004 Abstract Revisions

I've become interested in the psychology of Jung not so much for its content, but for the fact that Jung was able to experience a life of continual growth and transformation. The fact that he continually grew in wholeness and especially fascinating, considering how his disposition was comparable to my own. The desire to be connected is central to my deepest desires.

The need to be connected comes from my reception of the spiritual world. Seeing God's love creates a desire to love others more genuinely. The forest is not the revelation, but a symbol pointing to the truth. The Spirit Himself has initiated this symbology. Like Jung, I realize that there is an eternal aspect behind my momentary inclinations; and like Jung, I desire to allow this reality of God to speak to me, rather than conforming the unseen to my own theories.

__________________

Topic: How does the self-loving culture surrounding specialized information fields such as computer art affect creativity?

Abstract: The self-loving culture surrounding the specialized information field of computer art inhibits the creative process. Individuals in such fields possess skills known only to an initiated minority; this elite status combined with fears of obscurity leads to feelings of entitlement and acts of rankism. These rankist tendencies lead novices to place their identity in their knowledge and skills, proliferating tendencies that undermine dignity.

Dignity is a basic human need, everyone feels the need to be somebody. However, the quality of the human experience shows that we are continually drifting between prominance and obscurity. Learning to accept this predicament leads away from a competitive outlook to a collaborative, transormative journey.

The forest is a symbol which points to this reality. The romantic writers and artists viewed the forest as a symbol of duality, transformation, and mystery. By incorporating these concepts into my personal symbology, I have been able to counter the narcissistic tendencies of my own personality. My artwork tells the fable of the forest, a myth of transformation from introversion to a connected existence.

Abstract
The narcissistic culture of new media esoterica inhibits creativity through patterns of entitlement and elitist attitudes. The romantic tendencies of computer specialists combined with feelings of underappreciation often produce an accute need for recognition leading to pretension, perfectionism, and isolationism. In many cases, such individuals become gatekeepers of knowledge, restricting information to those they feel are worthy to share their elite status. Knowledge and skills become the basis for personal identity and the abuse of rank is a natural result. This attitude breaks down collaborative systems and is counterproductive to the pursuits of art.

A possible solution to this problem is a social attitude within the academic and professional community which views computer art as a social and personal journey. Moving away from a royal conciousness, those in computer art can adopt an attitude of investing in others. This attitude places value upon archaic knowledge and the personal transformation accomplished through the creative process. The solution is not to create an egalitarian society, but rather one which is dignitarian, recognizing the inherent dignity in all individuals. The duality inherent in the human experience shows that we are continually shifting between recognition and obscurity; recognizing and accepting this duality can help us live fulfilled lives as computer artists.

My thesis illustrates these theoretical concepts through my own personal artistic exploration. The forest is a symbol which points to the proposed reality. The forest is a place of duality, romance, timelessness, transformation, dwelling, and wisdom. By learning from writings and imagery of romantic artists and incorporating their concepts into my own symbology, I have been able to adopt an outlook on computer art which emphasizes the communal creative experience. My imagery exhibits the fable of the forest and the lessons we need to learn to move away from the royal conciousness and towards a compassionate outlook.

April 19 2004 Duality and Visuals

Duality is one of the central themes of my work. We are the most ordinary people, but at the same time we are full of the supernatural. Life is mundane and yet there is immense beauty in the most mundane things. I have the best intentions but often live the exact opposite. And I feel down about this, but choose to walk in grace, knowing that my let downs will become my triumphs. Artists themselves are often incompetent to bring to life the vision, and yet they accomplish it anyway. Literature is often the largest influence for me, rather than films. The imagery of the forest comes largely from literature and explains the elements of duality perfectly.

Joseph Conrad elaborates more on the duality of the forest in Heart of Darkness

"All that mysterious life of the wilderness that stirs in the forest, in the jungles, in the hearts of wild men. There's no initiation either into such mysteries. And it has a fascination, too, that goes to work upon a man."

Also, Conrad uses the duality of the forest to point to the duality of humans and existence. It is central to my argument that the forest is simply a symbol, and symbols point to something. The argument is not to return to nature, but to step into another reality.

My forest images will be a romance of endearing quality, but also possessing an awkwardness, an awareness, an honesty.

Creativity requires the acknowledgement of duality.

April 18 2004 Rankism and Duality

Esoterica has engrained in new media culture not only a sense of entitlement but also the overarching problem of

rankism

. Rankism uses power to undermine the dignity of others. Being the root cause of racism, sexism, ageism etc. rankism has infiltrated much of modern culture. Within realms of knowledge, rankism appears in the form of intellectual gatekeepers - individuals who dole out access to knowledge only to a percieved elite. Those guilty of rankism judge the future possibilities of individuals based on their current conditions. Personally, I have experienced this fact many times thoughout high school and my college career as people have assumed that I was incapable of learning something simply because I did not already know it. One instructor actually told me it would be foolish to attempt art school since my background was primarily in computer science. Ironically, during high school my guidance counselor advised me not to attempt computer science because I enjoyed art class more. Even at the graduate level, students come to me for math tutoring with the attitude that because they are artists, they can not learn math. However, this attitude is false; prior educators have simply enforced it. If I begin the session with a simple statement such as "you've always enjoyed math, haven't you?" then the student absorbs material almost instantly. The generaly trend, however, is for those in power to keep their priveledged knowledge to themselves and amongst those who share their elite status.

In his pivotal book "Somebodies and Nobodies," Rober Fuller states that the solution to rankism is not egalitarianism but rather

dignitarianism

. Everyone wants to be a somebody, but often we are nobodies. However, in whatever state we find ourselves we have the basic human right to dignity. The solution is not to get rid of rank and elite status, but rather to discern the proper authority which a given rank implies. We must also realize when to lay aside rank and acknowledge that we are a nobody in an area.

As a programmer, I have specialized knowledge which few in the art community possess. This gives me an elite status in areas of mathematics and analytical ability - I can solve problems many animators cannot. This gives me the rightful authority to advise others on technical issues. However, when it comes to other matters, such as content, color design, etc. I need to lay aside my elite status and accept the instruction of others. Too often though, individuals assume that because they have expertise in one area, they must be an expert in another area.

Pulling rank within creative areas simply dampens creativity.

I was impressed with Phil Tippet's recent presentation where he emphasized the need for a close circle of creative friends with complimentary skills. It is far better to be open with others about our qualifications than to put forth the image that we are self-sufficient. Phil Tippet is content with remaining within his authority as an animator while allowing others to write scripts and create CGI.

It is this fact that everyone is both a somebody and a nobody most of the time which points to the

duality

of human existence. When we meet someone who is truly genuine, we often sense a feeling of irony of their existence. It is this same irony that we look for in a good story; a duality that makes us say "ah, that's how life really is." Trying to be a somebody all the time is pretensious and leads to a loss of genuinness.

April 16 2004 The Question

So far, my thesis work has largely centered on my current outlook on creativity. My personal view is largely an answer however to a very important question: how do we overcome the culture of entitlement that surrounds the computer arts in order to release creativirty in our own personal lives.

Six comman traits have been found in the psychoanalysis of new media and computing specialists: a history of personal or social frustrations, heavy computer usage, loose ethics, reduced loyalty, a sense of entitlement, and lack of empathy.

Moreover, because of individual's above average intellegence, they often feel a very h1 sense of self-entitlement, which manifests itself in the following behaviors: approval-seeking, inauthentic behavior, perfectionism, avoidance, and sellf-consciousness. Individuals exhibit a constant desire to one-up others and be considered the best. They feel that they are entitled to be treated as a celebrity, endulging in a

royal conciousness

However, such individuals are generally above-average in reality, exhibiting high intelligence, creativity, and vision. Thus, the answer is not to abandon one's personality but to adopt an outlook on life that fosters an

amazed compassion

Kay Nielsen's "He too Saw the Image in the Water (Narcissist)" provides a telling visual analogy for the state of new media. The Prince's own image distracts him from his quest. His distraction does not change the reality of who he is, but it does prevent him from fulfilling his destiny. Though the awesomeness of nature surrounds him, the prince loses his destiny to self-adoration and royal conciousness.

The answer to the prince's plight is to once again possess a fear of his surroundings, an imaginative amazement which moves him to fulfill his quest with passion.

"We need to view the world the world as to combine an idea of wonder and an idea of welcome, we need to be happy in this wonderland without once being merely comfortable. Imagination does not breed insanity. Exactly what does breed insanity is reason. Thinking in isolation and with pride ends in being an idiot. Every man who will not have a softening of the heart must at least have softening of the brain. How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it; if you could really look at other men with common curiosity and pleasure" G.K. Chesterton.

Of course, focusing on the problem does not provide the solution. We must also formulate a vision for where computer art and new media could go. My personal journey has led to the encapsulation of this vision within the symbolism of the forest. New media will become a place of transformation, romance, duality, honesty, and growth. In academic terms, it is the ideal venue for the development of the entire mind and personality, encompassing both intuitive and analytic thinking skills.

April 9 2004 Walking on Air

One of the biggest challenges of computer art is not planning things out first. Instructor's beat the mantra into us "success is planning." But with planning comes relying on our own ability, and with that comes ignoring creativity, ignoring the genius in the world around us. One of the things lacking in modern society is people who listen. A difficult balancing act, listening involves floating between technical foresight and creative impulse.

Humans were born to fly. It's obvious in our love of flying, out continual pursuit of it. We've simply forgotten how. The creative process scares many because it implies the ability to walk on air, to step out on invisible urges and remember our true potential - to remember who we are.

"Because when creativity really begins to happen it can just as easily feel as though things are going badly wrong. Yet that is just the time to really persist. I had a tai chi teacher who called this “investing in loss.” He had been telling me to balance on one leg, sink lower and lower, and relax my muscles completely while doing it, but I just kept falling over. He was obviously wrong, because obviously squatting lower means using more muscle power. So I went to him and complained about his teaching. But he pointed out that while my falls were evidence that I had stopped relying on muscular effort, I had yet to put my trust in chi. I would have to let go even more, keep falling if need be, to get to the point of giving up what I knew in order to get to what I didn’t know. I would have to invest in loss, he said, and if I did, chi would support me. I persisted, and it worked. And I didn’t even believe in chi" - Sean Kernan.

April 8 2004 Implosion

Information does not provide us with wisdom. The internet is supposed to advance our existence through the presumptuous accumulation of fact. But fact leads us away from gestation; impotent, fact often destroys. In his essay "The Implosion of Meaning in the Media," Jean Baudrillard remarks "Information devours its own content... rather than producing meaning, it exhausts itself in the staging of meaning." Information without meaning is simulation is stimulation without impregnation.

Joseph Conrad uses the image of the Kowa Dol in Heart of Darkness , a large rock completely hollow inside, to explain the destructive force of the information gatherer. The rocks are a mystery, but if one tries to understand it, to view the inside, to break the rock open, the mystery is destroyed. During the act of gaining knowledge, we destroy the object we wished to know.

In the creation story, it was not evil which destroyed Adam and Eve, but rather knowledge. The fruit which they ate was both good and evil... the knowledge of them.

"He who breaks a thing to understand it has left the path of wisdom" J.R.R. Tolkien.

"The letter kills, but the Spirit gives life" 2 Corinthians 3:6.

When is an object a simulation and when is it foreshadowing things to come? If there a difference between the pattern and the copy?

I am named after a story character, Atabet. Atabet was an artist whose paintings became reality. Now, I am an artist. Effectively, the symbol has become more real. I am not a copy of the character because I am an individual. The symbol has gained meaning. This could be an examlpe of a pattern. A pattern is a reproduction from a code which gains in meaning. If a person buys a clothing pattern, and creates a garment from it, the garment is more real than the pattern. This is different than the copy. The copy is made from another object which points towards nothing. The pattern points to something, foreshadowing it. Following the pattern allows us to emerge into the foreshadowed reality.

April 6 2004 Bards and Archaic Understanding

"For the past several generations, we've forgotten what the psychologists call our archaic understanding, a willingness to know things in their deepest, most mythic sense. We're all born with archaic understanding, and the loss of it goes directly along with the loss of ourselves as creators" Madeleine L`Engle p. 98.

"Let me admonish you, first of all, to go alone; to refuse the good models, even those which are scared in the imagination of men, and dare to love God without mediator or veil... Yourself a newborn bard of the Holy Ghost, cast behind you all conformity, and acquaint men at first hand with the Deity." Ralph Waldo Emerson, The Divinity School Address (p 120).

"Hear the voice of the Bard

Who Present, Past, and Future sees

Whose ears have heard

The Holy Word

That walked among the ancient trees." William Blake, Songs of Innocence and Experience.

Virtual art often focuses on knowledge and the relationship between information, knowledge, and self.

An environment to foster knowing on the deepest level through myth, imagination, and story; a work which signals the death of the information age and a return to authenticity, to reality, to knowing. A form which is not to be like a tree, but a form which honors the tree in every sense, not a fabrication, but a child-like imitation; the expression of a desire to be amongst the trees.

April 4 2004 The Duality of the Forest

A sketch of a scene from the Silmarilion. The forest is often a place of joy, but it is often full of sadness. The elves in Tolkein's mythology dwell in the forests and experience a renewed joy with an increasing sorrow.

"There Finwe lived in sorrow; and he went often to the gardens of Lorien, and sitting beneath the silver willows beside the body of his wife, he called her by her names. But it was to no avail; and alone in all the blessed realm he was deprived of joy."

The forest is often inhabited by beasts. This drawing is from high school.

A story map for my epic concept "Blue Sky Saga." The story is a metaphor for transformation. Here, the forest location is shown with its addtending themes of innocence, wisdom, mystery, timelessness, and flux. The forest is both a place of rest and innocence for the characters, but also a palce where their journey begins, implying growth and experience.

Romance is the combination of fantasy and reality, the dual nature of experience wonderment in the mundane.

April 3 2004 The Historical Validity of Virtual Reality

Are desktop video games replacing virtual reality? The expensive and inconvenient hardware may seem frivolous when the same experience can be duplicated on the desktop. However, the point on an immersive experience is immersion. Video games have the power of "presence," the emotional connection of the user with the experience. Immersion though consists of saturating the viewer's senses with stimuli. The need to feel immersed within a work drives much of humankinds exploration into the arts. As Grau explains in his definitive work Virtual Art:

"In many quarters, virtual reality is viewed as a totally new phenomenon. However, a central argument of [Virtual Art] is that the idea of installing an observer in a hermetically closed-off image space of illusion did not make its first appearance with the technical invention of computer-aided virtual realities. On the contrary, virtual reality forms part of the core of the relationships of humans to images. It is grounded in art traditions, which have recieved scant attention until now, that, in the course of history, suffered ruptures and discontinuities, were subject to the specific media of their epoch, and used to transport content of a highly disparate nature. Yet the idea goes back at least as far as the classical world, and it now reappears in the immersion strategies of present-day virtual art" (GRAU 5).

The desire for immersion is thus nothing new. Moreover, virtual reality should be viewed as an extension of historical trends, rather than a unique phenomenon. While the medium exploits new technologies and explores the realm of interaction, the core concept is found deep within many works of art.

The idea of being within the artwork influences other contemporary trends such as earth works, conceptual art, rituals, and performance art. Here, the emphasis is often placed on the interaction of the piece with the viewer. The piece alone is not art, but rather it is the viewer's presence which provides meaning. Speaking of Joseph Beuy's work, Greg Masters remarks:

"One is changed simply by contact with the site, absorbed into the theater, the ritualization. One has come freely to participate. There are no observers, one can't remain detached. You become an initiate" (http://www.artchive.com/artchive/B/beuys.html).

Rituals also use immersion to draw the viewer/participant out of their current reality and into a state of transformation.

April 2 2004 Chesterton on Fairy Tales

G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy:

"If our life is ever really as beautiful as a fairy tale, we shall have to remember that all the beauty of a fairy-tale lies in this; that the prince has a wonder which stops just short of being fear"

"But if the end of the world is to be a piece of elaborate and artistic chiaroscuro, then there must be a design to it, either human or divine."

"For the purpose even of the wildest romance results must be real; results must be irrevocible"

"We all Like astonishing tales because they touch the nerve of the ancient instinct of astonishment"

"In the fairy tale an incomprehensible happiness rests upon an incomprehensible condition"

"The things I believed in most then, the things I believe most now, are the things called fairy tales"

Romantacism consists of several things: an appreciation for beauty, a reverence for the past, deeply felt, irrational emotions, the idea that imagination is reality, and a spiritual outlook to everyday life.

I'm very interested in creating a type of romantacism. One where CG is focused on natural patterns, emotion, and an apprecation for history and generations. An awkward pop-romatacism which reveres history but also realizes the disappointment in the mundane. The world is full of wonder and suffering at the same time. Both happy, silly, joyful, and sad, depressed, manic at the same time.By many tribulation we enter the Kingdom.