ALEXIS
-the girlfriend-
"She's my girlfriend, so I'm kind of obligated to put her on here. Anywho, my girlfriend is cooler, smarter, and prettier than your girlfriend or sister or mom."

BRAD
-the B-Rad to Chip's C-Hip-
"I've been friends with this bitch longer than anyone else. My best friend and a great guy. To know him is to love him. TIOR 4 Lyfe."

EMILY
-the goofy girl-
"Emily is one of the few girls that I can deal with for long periods of time. She's funny as shit, cooler than me and drives a Volkswagen."

JEFF
-the dad-
"Jeff is the man, that's all that needs to be said. Every day, I wake up and ask myself, 'how can I be more like Jeff?'. Usually the answer involves 7 babies and a sacrificed lamb."

JEREMY
-the nice guy-
"I like Jeremy and you should, too. Really chill guy. Known him for a touch over a year. Best damn sound guy in the biz."

JOHN
-the talent-
"John is the coolest person alive. It's actually a little depressing. John and I are both going to be famous, but he'll get there first and still be cooler."

PATRICK
-the jokester-
"Pat is fat. That's all that needs to be said. Not really. Weighing in at a svelt 150 pounds, hailing for parts unknown, he's a big balla shot calla. Pat is Emily's boyfriend, lucky him, huh? He's wicked awesome, too. Good guy, good times, great oldies."

REBEKAH
-the other woman-
"Met her through Brad. Cool as hell, funny as shit, and smarter than everyone. Love ya Rebekah."